Your Circumstances May Have Made Your World Smaller, But Your Dreams Can Still Soar

Embracing Your Worth Amidst Crisis

There is a question that often arises when we begin to envision something greater for our lives:

Can someone who feels irrelevant really do something relevant?

This question can weigh heavily during or after a crisis. A crisis can shrink your world. You may find yourself consumed by the problems at hand: the relationship issues, the court cases, the financial struggles, the children, the trauma, the uncertainty, and the decisions that loom ahead. Before long, survival takes up so much space that it becomes challenging to imagine a life beyond it.

Meanwhile, the world outside seems to move forward effortlessly. People are building careers, starting businesses, going back to school, traveling, creating, celebrating milestones, and pursuing their dreams.

And here you are, simply trying to make it through Tuesday.

Amidst this chaos, another question may surface:

Does my life still matter?

The answer is a resounding yes.

Feeling irrelevant and being irrelevant are not the same. Your current circumstances do not define your significance. Neither do the number of people who notice you, what someone has told you about yourself, your past accomplishments, or the fact that much of your energy may currently be focused on survival.

There are seasons when survival itself demands extraordinary strength. But remember, survival does not have to limit your imagination.

When the Dream Feels Bigger Than You

Maybe your dream is to embark on a new career. Perhaps it's about going back to school, starting a business, writing a book, or simply becoming a version of yourself you've never had the chance to be. The dream can vary widely, but the underlying question often remains the same:

Who am I to think I can do this?

It’s easy to look at those who have achieved something significant and forget that we are witnessing them from the other side of their beginnings. We see the organization after it has flourished, the leader after she has gained recognition, the business with its loyal customers, the graduate proudly holding her degree, and the woman living the life she once only dreamed of.

What we often overlook is the period when there was little evidence that any of it would come to fruition.

You might be standing in that very period right now.

You may feel you lack the connections, money, credentials, experience, or support you think you need. Those around you might not understand your vision. They may even question some of your decisions. And in the distance between where you are and what you can imagine, doubt whispers:

Am I dreaming too big?

Perhaps.

Some dreams are indeed grand.

But there is a crucial distinction between saying:

This dream is bigger than me.

and:

I am too small for this dream.

Those statements are not interchangeable.

Maybe You Need to Be a Little Delusional

There is something almost unreasonable about pursuing a big dream.

At some point, you must believe in a possibility before there is enough evidence to justify your confidence in it. You have to envision something that isn't fully formed yet. Sometimes, you must imagine peace amidst chaos. Picture financial stability while facing uncertainty. Visualize meaningful work while starting anew. Envision healthy relationships after experiencing harmful ones. Imagine laughing freely again when joy feels like a distant memory. Sometimes, you must envision becoming someone you haven't yet met.

That requires a unique kind of courage.

You must keep working even when progress feels slow. You have to make decisions that might seem foolish to those who cannot see what you see.

These aren’t reckless decisions. They are choices grounded in wisdom, reality, and good counsel. They make sense because you know where you are trying to go. Sometimes, you need to be a little delusional about what might be possible.

You can acknowledge the challenges of life while still believing there is more ahead.

Determined to Win. Angry to Lose.

Another mindset accompanies the pursuit of something that matters deeply:

Determined to win. Angry to lose.

Not angry after losing.

Angry at the thought of surrendering something meaningful without giving it everything you reasonably can.

Setbacks will happen. Mistakes will be made. Some things won’t work out. Sometimes, you may need to change direction entirely. Being determined to win doesn’t mean believing failure is impossible. It means refusing to be indifferent about the outcome.

If your future matters, pursue it with intention.

That pursuit doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s just one phone call. One application. One boundary set. One counseling appointment. One class. One new skill acquired. One hour spent working on something that belongs to your future instead of your crisis.

Sometimes, it’s simply one decision that says:

My life is still happening.

Progress doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it’s so small that no one else would even recognize it as progress. But small decisions accumulate. The woman who takes one small step today may eventually look back and realize she has traveled miles.

Relevance Isn't the Same as Recognition

Perhaps we need to rethink what it means to be relevant.

Most of us are irrelevant to most people. Many will never know our names.

But relevance was never meant to imply being known by everyone.

Something is relevant because it matters where it matters.

You don’t have to change everyone’s life to change someone’s life. You don’t need thousands of people to believe in an idea before it can help one person. You don’t need a platform before your voice can matter to someone who needs to hear it.

And you don’t have to be significant before you can do something significant.

Sometimes, relevance begins very quietly.

One person helped. One problem solved. One door opened. One courageous decision made. One small step taken toward something that didn’t exist yesterday. And then another.

That is incremental progress.

Some Decisions Will Not Make Sense to Everyone

There may come a time when rebuilding requires making decisions that others do not understand. They may think your dream is too big. They may suggest the timing is wrong. They may urge you to be more practical, to wait, to settle, or to be grateful for what you have. They may tell you to stop expecting so much from life.

Listen to wise counsel. Learn. Prepare. Understand the risks.

But remember, others are evaluating your decisions from their perspective, not from within your experience. Some choices may appear foolish from the outside yet be precisely the right decisions for you.

Sometimes, rebuilding requires trusting what you know. Sometimes, growth necessitates leaving what is familiar. Sometimes, pursuing something meaningful means accepting the possibility that it may not work out.

Sometimes, you have to take a gamble on yourself.

Take the Gamble

For women who have spent a long time having their decisions questioned, controlled, criticized, or dismissed, taking a gamble on yourself can feel particularly daunting.

You may have learned not to trust your judgment. You may have been told your ideas were ridiculous. You may have been made to feel incapable. You may have grown accustomed to seeking permission. You may have spent so long considering everyone else's needs that asking yourself, What do I want? feels almost selfish.

But it isn’t.

There comes a time in rebuilding when you must be willing to bet on the woman you are becoming. This doesn’t mean betting everything recklessly or assuming passion guarantees success. It means being willing to invest something in what you believe. Your time. Your work. Your courage. Your willingness to learn. Your persistence. Your readiness to start small. Your willingness to look foolish while the vision is clearer to you than to anyone else.

And perhaps most importantly, your willingness to try without knowing how the story ends.

You may fail at something. You may change your mind. You may discover that the dream you pursued wasn’t the dream you truly wanted.

That does not render the gamble worthless.

Sometimes, taking a chance on yourself is how you rediscover who you are.

You Are More Than This Season

There will always be reasons to wait until you are more qualified, more connected, more financially secure, more confident, more recognized, or more certain.

Some preparation is necessary.

But there may never be a moment when someone arrives and declares:

You are important enough now. You may begin.

At some point, you must give yourself permission.

Perhaps today you cannot envision anything particularly extraordinary. That’s okay. Start by believing something smaller:

This is not all my life will ever be.

There are parts of you that crisis may have buried but did not destroy. Curiosity, creativity, intelligence, humor, ambition, tenderness, possibility, and the capacity to begin again are still yours.

So perhaps the question isn’t:

Who am I to dream this big?

Perhaps it is:

What will this dream require that I don’t have yet?

That question gives you a direction.

Maybe you need to learn. Perhaps you need expertise. You might require community, resources, or experience. Maybe the dream is too large for one person, and you need to stop assuming one person is meant to carry it.

A big dream doesn’t necessarily require you to become bigger. Sometimes, it requires you to build, learn, partner, invite, ask, grow, and keep moving forward.

And perhaps one day, the woman who once wondered whether she mattered will look around at the life she has built and realize something profound:

She was never irrelevant.

She was simply in a season where it was difficult to see herself beyond her struggles.

So dream bigger than what you see today. Make incremental progress toward it. Make the decisions that are right for your life, even when others do not understand them. And when the moment comes, take the gamble on yourself.

You may feel irrelevant. The dream may seem unreasonable. The progress may be slow. You may still be at the very beginning.

Begin anyway.

Reflection Questions

Where has crisis made your world feel smaller? Is there something you stopped dreaming about because your circumstances made it seem impossible? What might become possible if you stopped asking whether you are important enough and started asking what you need to take the next step?

And perhaps the biggest question:

Are you willing to take a gamble on yourself to find out what is possible?

A Simple Practice

• Write these words somewhere you can return to them: This is not all my life will ever be.

• Then give yourself permission to imagine one thing you would like your life to contain beyond your current circumstances. Don’t worry yet about whether it is practical, how long it will take, or whether anyone else understands it.

• Choose one small step toward it.

• Then take it.

  
  

Sometimes, the first gamble you take on yourself is simply believing that there could be more.